The rant I am not writing

I am not writing a rant because people I would rant about might find my rant on the web and get offended.

Or people I know will assume that I mean them, when in fact I do not mean them, and get offended. Also: some of the people I know would be offended if they figured out the rant was not about them.

This makes the ranting less fun.

The point of a rant is to be outrageous or funny or vicious and not fucking apologize afterwards. Now that we’re all socially networked, ranting is harder to do.

Help me, the internet is making me act like a grownup.