12 frogs read think get curious

No Rose-Colored Remembrance Here

I am not one of the apparently millions of Americans who is in mourning over the death of Ronald Reagan.

I became politically aware during his tenure as president. I don’t remember thinking he was one of the good guys, I don’t remember thinking he was leading this country in the right direction, and I don’t remember thinking he even knew what the hell he was doing.

I remember James Watts crusading against the environment and Edwin Meese crusading against pornography. I remember Reagan nominating Robert Bork for Supreme Court Justice. I remember the Reagan administration trying to classify ketchup as vegetable in order to avoid paying for enough actual food in school lunches. I remember Reagan joking about bombing the Soviet Union.

I remember the inanity of Nancy Reagan urging us to Just Say No, and the absurdity of her reliance on the advice of an astrologer. I remember Iran-Contra, Oliver North, and the sinking feeling I got in my stomach when I realized they were going to get away with it.

I remember Reagan’s union-busting. I remember Reagan’s desire to deregulate and put even more power in corporate hands.

I remember Reagan’s silence on AIDS, his refusal to care about a disease that he thought only the “wrong people” die from.

As a politician, he was the epitome of style over substance. He looked good on television. He knew how to deliver a speech. He knew how to lie.

No, I don’t mourn his death. If I am going to mourn anything related to Reagan, it will be the legacy he has left us: unchecked corporate greed, mind-boggling debt, and the telling of incredible lies.

1. This “liberal mediaâ€? you’re harping on…would it be any relation to the one that credited Reagan with single-handedly bringing about the demise of the Soviet Union? The press championing overprocessed, chemical gunk disguised as food cuz it’s good for big business…yeah, that’s got us lefties all over it.

2. I see you stuck to the ketchup defense….nothing to add on Iran-Contra, the AIDS crisis, the ever-widening gulf between the richest 1% of the nation and the rest of us schmoes? Well, to be honest, I don’t blame Reagan too much for any of that myself…he was so much more pawn than politician. (You could check out Molly Ivins’ first book for some great background, but…Holy Cow, SHE’s the liberal media!! Much as I love Molly, I can’t help but feel her success is why we’re now all stuck with Ann Coulter…Note to Bigwig Liberal Media Moguls: it helps if your columnists are funny. Savvy. Smart. Don’t believe McCarthyism and the Tet Offensive were dreamed up by leftwing conspiracy theorists…I’m just sayin’)

3. Even if we give ketchup its full props, I’m pretty sure you’d need more than the 2 tbsps. you get outta the squeezy packet to count as a nutrionally-significant serving.

Don’t worry, beancounter–we still want ya to come over for dinner…I’ll even put lycopene on the menu.

Thanks for the dinner invite. I’m looking forward to it as long as there’s no HEINZ lycopene on the menu.

Sincerely,

Your favorite right-wing, kill all the children and starve the elderly, fatten the wallets of the rich, Ann Coulter reading, Bible thumbing, Constitution loving, flag waving, mean, vile, horrible extremist and any other appropriate adjective I may have forgotten Republican friend and closet 12 frogs fan club member:

The Bean Counter

Someone please tell George Bush that Republicans are supposed to love the Constitution.